I recently posted a TikTok video about a parenting situation my husband and I went through with our teen daughter. It was a tiny snapshot of our life, literally 2.5 minutes, wherein I described an experience that, turns out, A LOT of moms could identify with.
As of this writing, 707k moms watched the video and 80k moms “liked” it. It has more than 3k comments. 99% of which are some version of, “Thank you so much for so accurately describing the way I feel every day!”
The video’s message centered on the strength it takes to be the person in the family who holds “all the feelings.” The one who tries to understand everyone’s perspectives. The one who works to keep the peace. The emotional barometer who, when exhausted by all the feels, can be found running a hot bath, pouring a glass of Chardonnay, and singing, “Calgon take me away!”
I found out, by posting this every day, mundane, parenting moment…Moms are exhausted.
I can tell you from raising five kids that the physical demands of having littles gradually and steadily morphs into the mental fatigue of adolescent parenting. And, it doesn’t end when they leave the nest. Though it does considerably diminish if you’ve prepared them well for “the real world.”
Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids, I was literally born to be a parent and I wouldn’t change a thing about my life and the 35-year journey of motherhood I’ve been on. But damn, it is taxing most days.
Which is why, this year, on May 8th, I am inviting you to find a way to let your mom know how much she means to you. She may not have always been the best mom, she may not have even known how to be a good mom to you, but the role of raising children is nothing you can really prepare for, and if you didn’t have a good role model yourself, can make the job even more challenging.
What is the one thing your mom gifted you that you can thank her for this Mother’s Day?
I am blessed to say my own Mom lives in Flower Mound, volunteers at the library, and is still my greatest cheerleader and the least judgmental person I know. Her ability to hold space for all of my feelings over the past half century is why I can hold space for my family’s feels.
For all the Moms, Stepmoms, Foster Moms, Grand Moms, and Fur-baby Moms out there…give yourself permission to spend that special day doing your favorite things. So that the next day you can once again get back to being the keeper of the emotions. And if you feel like you could be a better Mom (who doesn’t feel that way sometimes?), there are no shortage of books and podcasts on the topic.
Motherhood is a lifelong learning journey, where our children can be our greatest teachers.