Recently, I took a four day trip to Kansas City that felt like I was there for two weeks. What started as a small visit with my girlfriend and I to see some old colleagues, aunts and in-law’s had snowballed into a BBQ-fueled family reunion marathon across the Midwest. I get asked often as a young entrepreneur, “Nick, how are you going to start a family and balance that with building a business?”
Frankly, I’m not really sure how to answer that. I know I won’t do this forever, but to a large extent, most of this is up to God’s Plan. Wearing your faith openly means that a lot of times, we don’t have a precise answer to big questions like that.
That’s not to be mistaken with complacency. Very often, I reflect back to something my dad said to me growing up, “Nick, complacency is not a contingency.” I believe it’s akin to growing a plant — there are things you can and cannot control. You have to water it, and give it the right nutrients and position it in its shade preference, but things like the climate you grow it in, the seed health, or how much the plant actually produces are factors completely out of your hands.
With a plant example, I could make several Biblical references — however for me, that’s an invitation to embrace randomness and spontaneity. Things generally will work out the way they need to, so here’s my hot take: spontaneity and intentionality are not mutually exclusive.
Those who know me know I have ADHD — to be fair, I don’t make it all that subtle. Spontaneity is genuinely part of my personality, but I don’t say ‘yes’ to an adventure unless it either 1. Pours back into me or 2. Directly helps me along my general path — I’ve even formed that into a bit of a litmus test to keep me from various scattered escapades. However, I think all of this fits into the larger theme of stewardship. Covering your bases and positioning for long term success — whether financial, mental, family planning or anything really — is only half the battle. Stewardship is embracing spontaneity when it comes but remaining focused on your bigger picture.
Most CEO’s I know started their business in an act of spontaneity and had to backfill intentionality — including me. That said, I always knew starting a business was my calling. In the same way as starting a business, I know the milestones of starting a family will be fairly spontaneous hallmarked by intentional actions I seed in — such as dates, the proposal, the future wedding, raising kids and (hopefully) retiring.
I can point all of this back to one of the first sermons I ever gave — about Elijah and his journey to Mt. Sinai. The skinny is that the Lord does not send us on a journey without giving us the resources to complete it. The part you can take care of in this growing process is the strength to complete it — for me, I had to find it and place it fully in the Lord. Embrace adventure, but stay true to your calling, no matter how frightening the prospect may be.
See y’all next month.
