“Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” – James 1:19
Want an awesome resolution for 2026 guaranteed to improve your relationship with everyone in your family? It’s right there in that simple little verse. Three power-packed, relationship-changing statements.
Be quick to listen.
Be slow to speak.
Be slow to become angry.
This year, what if you become a listener instead of a lecturer? What if you sought to understand before being understood? What if you made sure you heard others in your family before you are heard?
Do you want your spouse and your children to feel seen, known, heard, and loved? Do you want them to want to talk to you and want to be around you? Do you want to see inside their minds and their hearts so you can have fun with them and help them in the struggles of life?
Become a listener.
We start becoming listeners by changing our belief about listening. We tend to think listening is time-consuming. We want others to use less words and get to the point. We think we have the answers before they finish their sentence. We think we know more than they do.
But what if we saw listening as a superpower? A way to gain wisdom, make our family members feel special, and a way to have influence in the lives of those we love the most? What if we changed our thinking about listening?
Not convinced yet? That’s ok! What if we try it for the month of January?
When the two-year-old tells a story with words you can’t understand, listen. “Tell me more about that. Really? That’s amazing!”
When your spouse has a problem, listen. Make it difficult for them to get your opinion on the issue. See if you can ask so many questions they come up with their own answers!
When the middle schooler gets in the car, keep asking questions after you get the one-word answer. (Hint: It’s the same questions you ask the two-year-old — Suzanne says teenagers are simply two-year-olds with freedoms but more about that in another article). “Tell me more about that. Really. That’s amazing.”
Can I stop here a minute and talk about our interactions with teenagers? Teenagers are amazing humans, and parents they really do want to talk to you. Why don’t they? Usually because of fear. When we listen more and hold off on our lectures and our judgement, often those one-word teenagers will open up to us.
Next time you have a problem with your teenager, ask them this question: “What do you think we should do to move forward on this issue?” Often you’ll be amazed at their response and if it’s their idea, they will own it so much more!
Can I let you in on a little secret? Everyone in your family has this amazing mind full of hopes, dreams, struggles, and fears. And every one of them – even the teenager – wants to connect with you! They see you as their Mom or Dad or husband or wife and you have this special place in their heart. And they would love to be heard – really heard – by you.
For January, let’s be listeners in our family.
Quick to listen.
Slow to speak.
Slow to become angry.
By the end of January, I’ll bet you have some stories to tell of your own about a deeper connection with those you love.
May 2026 be the best year yet for your family!
