This month, I found I had a harder time putting pen to paper than I usually do. Frustration over the past few months have slowly turned into burnout, and I know I’m not going through it alone. My girlfriend and I are both in the middle of our own difficult seasons, but in the midst of everything going on, we’ve found a lot of comfort in each other.
Even though pain at the pump and at the checkout line aren’t helping, I think sometimes we both let the world in a bit too much. We both work fairly public, high-stress jobs while at the same time both answering some pretty big life questions that come with growth and elevation. My question has really been, what happens when you believe in compassion, but you find yourself running out of it?
I think part of my answer to this has to do with my generation — us Gen Z’ers have been brought up in a culture where we are expected to react — for us to, “clap back,” “protect your peace,” and “win the argument.” And while there can be wisdom in boundaries, I think the real measure of patience is refusing to let frustration decide who we become in a given moment, even when we are starting to feel spent.
That said, what has been sitting on my mind recently is how easy it is to preach patience when you aren’t tired. So, when we were sitting on the couch chatting — it came to me, “When you’re frustrated, the only way through is by loving and leading with compassion.”
The irony in that is I spoke that while being frustrated too. I’m realizing that it wasn’t just advice, it was a challenge for me too. That said, I’m no stranger to massive burnout. It’s not only extremely difficult to go through, it’s also pretty scary — mine happened last year and I was ready to throw in the towel for my company and do a complete career shift. For others, it’s not nearly as dramatic — things that normally roll off your back suddenly bother you, someone needing one more thing feels overwhelming, a small inconvenience feels enormous. You still care about people, but caring starts to feel like an albatross.
When I think of Christians being described as “long-suffering,” I don’t really associate it with simply just gritting our teeth through hard seasons — love and compassion are easiest when we have plenty to give, on the other hand, character shows up when we don’t.
I also feel like the adage “Let go and let God,” is a bit of an oversimplification when we’re talking about burnout and compassion fatigue. That adage isn’t wrong, I just don’t think faith asks us to pretend we aren’t tired. The first thing I generally need to remind myself to do is just admit, “God, I’m exhausted,” and simply just to label what I’m actually feeling. Rest is important, and I think a lot of people forget that even Jesus withdrew from crowds and made room for solitude.
Leading with love and seeking first to understand doesn’t mean endlessly draining ourselves for everyone around us. Perhaps it means we should be more intentional with our response to what we’re going through, especially when frustration makes something else easier. So I’ll leave you with the challenge I gave myself this month — when you’re frustrated, lead with love and compassion, and allow yourself grace to rest and reset when you need it.
See y’all next month.
