Ok! Read this scripture and then we are going to use the wisdom of the Bible to show us a key strategy to build love and unity in our family. Ready? Here it is:
“For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins.” – 2 Peter 1:5-9 NIV
There is a progression here. Goodness leads to knowledge which leads to self-control which leads to perseverance which leads to godliness and then mutual affection and ultimately love. Wow! That’s a big progression!
The secret is the first quality on the list – goodness. To be good to someone is to look out for their benefit. The Bible says in other places it’s easy to be good to those who are good to us but hard to do it when others are not looking out for our benefit. Like those kids of ours who might have a tendency to be selfish and ungrateful.
And yet this scripture tells us that our goodness unlocks so many things! First of all, knowledge. How in the world does goodness lead to knowledge? Think about it. Do you think straighter and more clearly when you are in a goodness frame of mind – looking out for the good of others – or a frustrated state of mind? Do you think more clearly and strategically when you are at peace or when you are angry?
Goodness creates a calm spirit which allows us to bring great insight into our family situations. Then, as we are awesome, calm, insightful leaders, we are then also able to bring in self-control and perseverance. When our hearts are right, we don’t get angry, we don’t get discouraged and we certainly don’t give up. We bring peace, energy, and life to the issue and do a great job of leading everyone through it!
And here’s the really cool part. The last three qualities – godliness, mutual affection, and love – are not just our qualities but are the impact of our goodness on our family!
Let’s paint the picture here. The kids are not at their best. There is chaos and fighting in the home. Lots of arguing and complaining. Instead of adding to the chaos with lecturing and yelling, we have goodness in our heart, and we bring goodness to the scene. We give direction (knowledge), and we guide them into a better situation in spite of their protests (self-control and determination).
The effect on the family? They resist less, obey more and have more fun with the situation (godliness), they get along better (mutual affection), and over time as you do this again and again love grows in your home! All because of your goodness!
The key is to start with goodness. Looking out for the good of others. Seeing the best in them. Treating them as you would want to be treated. Goodness clears our mind so we can see the best solutions. Goodness leads to a sharp mind that sees what others cannot see!
And that’s what leaders do. They see solutions and guide their team to those solutions. When we do that over and over with our family, we will create that environment of obedience, mutual affection, and love we desire for our home.
