Many people outside of Flower Mound, Highland Village, Lantana, Bartonville and Argyle might think kids living in those communities don’t have the same needs as ones in Dallas or Fort Worth.
Rachel Pillar, vice president of advancement and community engagement for Big Brothers Big Sisters of Greater Tarrant County, knows better.
“There’s some wealth and indicators of a happy life. There’s also a huge need in the community that people don’t realize,” said Pillar, whose agency is part of BBBS Lone Star that also currently serves Denton County. She said about 100 boys and girls in southern Denton County currently need adult mentors.
“Behind closed doors there’s a lot of things going on in families – even those with two-parent households,” she added. “Both parents are involved but have some challenges and obstacles in their lives.
“We’re trying to bring awareness and end the stigma that has been associated with mentoring in the past. These aren’t at-risk kids necessarily. Some just need someone to listen to them. They need a little extra attention. They may be going through something their parents haven’t gone through personally and if we can find them a mentor who has maybe had similar experiences it can make all the difference in a child.”
To help address this need, BBBS created a board of directors focused on Denton County. Flower Mound Mayor Derek France became a member last year after being recruited by Denton’s Dr. Greg Stinyard, whom France knew from working out at Crossfit in Flower Mound.
Stinyard, who retired from the Army in 2011, joined the Denton board two years ago and recently was named Tarrant County and Texas Big Brother of the Year. He is now being considered for the national Big Brother of the Year.
“Big Brothers Big Sisters was really popular when I was a police officer years ago in Phoenix,” France said. “This time last year when Greg asked me to join the board, I was campaigning (for mayor) so the timing wasn’t right. After the election was over I talked to (BBBS Tarrant County Market President) Ozzie Smith.”
Once France heard the organization was refocusing its efforts in Denton County, he was all in.
“I took it on as a champion and said ‘look you need a point guy,’” France said. “Now that I have this platform I’m going to use it for good and I will champion this re-establishment or resurrection or whatever you want to call it in Denton County.”
France is working with members of the Flower Mound Chamber of Commerce and Cross Timbers Rotary to join the board and also to raise funds and create an operational plan.
“I want people on the board who care about the mission but also want the influencers, the ones with a big voice,” said France, who engaged his 750-person email list about needing help.
Adding France was one of the key strategies to expand the reach in Denton County. BBBS wants to add more board members, volunteers and a dedicated Denton County employee. To help raise funds, a special pickleball event called The Big Dill was held in Coppell on April 23.
“It’s low volume, high impact,” France said. “We’re not the Boys and Girls Club or the YMCA or CCA. We’re not going to impact like that. But we’re building long-term relationships where the initial ask is only 12 months, once a month, so really you’re only asking a mentor for 12 days a year. It can be more and oftentimes it is. You form lifelong relationships including going to graduations and weddings. To me that’s the draw.”
That certainly has proven true for longtime Flower Mound resident Kyle Rogers. Since retiring two years ago from a career in technology sales management, he volunteered for multiple organizations. But none have been as fulfilling as the past year with 11-year-old Asher, who lived in Highland Village and Coppell until moving to Dallas with mom Nicole last year.
“Once I found out about the need, there was no way I could not do it,” said Rogers, 58. “I always knew I would retire early and need to make those years count. It can’t be just about golf and snowboarding. There’s more than enough time to give back and I’m blessed to be very fortunate in my life and feel obligated to share that.
“Other than his grandfather and maybe his baseball coach, he really doesn’t have any male influences in his life. I play an interesting role as an older guy helping a younger kid. It’s interesting for me to learn about his world now because it’s very different from the world I grew up in and my kids grew up in.”
Rogers first met Asher, a fifth grader in Coppell, online due to COVID-19 restrictions. Their initial in-person visit was at Briarhill Park in Flower Mound.
“We both love baseball. We both love sports and animals. It was a natural connection for us,” Rogers said. “For the first month or so we would just throw the ball or go to the dog park. We’ve done everything from Top Golf to pickleball to bowling, really anything sports related like hiking by Lake Grapevine. We try to mix it up between doing things and hanging out talking about guy stuff.
Asher and Rogers typically meet twice a month for several hours. Rogers occasionally watches Asher play select baseball in Flower Mound and the two also go fishing, another of Asher’s favorite activities.
Rogers said providing advice only comes after a relationship is established based on trust and being a consistent presence. It has to be appropriate and earned.
“Asher over the past two months has been more forthcoming about what goes on in his life,” Rogers said. “At the beginning he had to kind of test me out to see if I’d hang around.”
The relationship has proven to be just as beneficial to Rogers since his sons live in California and Florida.
“You don’t have to be a hero to do this,” Rogers said. “You just have to be somebody who cares and be willing to give of your time, be consistent and patient and earn the right be a mentor to the young man. I get as much out of this as he does.”
To learn more about BBBS, visit bbbstx.org/tarrant-county
