Love Locally: Now you are ready…the first date after divorce

Q. What is more nerve-racking than the first date post divorce?

A. Trying to figure out what to wear on your first date after divorce.

Much has changed since your first date in college when your date picked you up for the party, and jeans and a t-shirt were all you needed to worry about.

After years of marriage you may or may not have lost your sense of style, but it is time to take a look at your closet and see what needs to be updated or what needs to be tossed. There is not a one-size fits all rule for what to wear on a first date. You may not be able to go out and purchase a whole new “going out” wardrobe. So here are a few thoughts to help you feel more confident and comfortable on your date.

1.    Don’t wear anything you wore when still with your ex. Start fresh or at least wear the lucky dress shirt you wore the day you received the promotion at work or the dress that you always get compliments on. Wear clothes that make you feel good, confident and “lucky”.

2.    Ask yourself do the clothes I am wearing reflect who I am today—not before the divorce, but today? Are these clothes accentuating the right parts of my body? Are they just covering me up or not covering me up enough?

3.    Are your clothes current in style? I am sure the “Hammer Time” pants worked back in the day, and so did the little hot pink spandex dress with stilettos, but times have changed and so have you.

4.    Leave the mom jeans and dad jeans for the soccer games and go purchase a hot pair of jeans that you feel great in.

5.    Ladies, show a little skin but be subtle. Don’t over accentuate the assets but don’t be too conservative.

6.    Men don’t over do the jean and t-shirt thing. A nice pair of jeans and a great dress shirt will take you from drinks to a nice dinner anywhere. Ask a female friend what jean styles are popular now. You will be shocked by the price, but go with it. Nice jeans and a good-looking patterned dress shirt works every time.

7.    Men, boots or loafers are perfect. Tennis shoes and flip-flops are not for a first introduction.

8.    Ladies, update your hairstyle, get a mani/pedi and feel good about the new you. Men, a manicure would not hurt you either. Women appreciate a man with nice hands and clean, clipped fingernails.

9.    Before you head out for the evening ladies, sit down in your outfit to make sure it is not too short or that the neck does not hang too low. It’s always best to test run a new outfit to make sure there are not things that will make you uncomfortable later in the evening.

10.     If you are meeting after work plan ahead, take a fresh shirt with you to change into. Take a few minutes to freshen up, reapply makeup, and brush your hair and teeth so you will feel refreshed after a long day at work.

You are reentering the dating scene as a new person, ready to make a new life. Your style is going to brand you and make a strong impression. We are a visual society and your clothing choices not only give clues to who you are, but may also impact the success of the date and influence the possibilities of a second date.

I know you are probably saying, “I don’t want to look like I am trying too hard”. It’s not about trying too hard- it’s about starting over and looking fresh, new and confident. The tips above are not over the top advice, but will help you put our best foot forward in your journey to unveil the “new you”.

Teresa Grawe is the CEO/Founder of Love Locally™. Love locally, LLC is a professional, upscale, traditional, off-line matchmaking firm based in Flower Mound, Texas.
Love Locally™ is committed to helping DFW single parents find love in the community they already live in a safe and confidential way. For more information regarding Love Locally visit our website at, LIKE us on Facebook at Love Locally and follow us on Twitter @lovelocallyDFW.


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