There’s more than one way down a mountain. This I’ve learned from the likes of world class athletes such as Bode Miller, the most decorated athlete ever in Alpine Skiing who you might say was American royalty at the 2010 Winter Olympics. Though just a commoner, his bad boy image and reddish-brown hair are reminiscent of one Prince Harry who always seems to charm the crowd in spite of sometimes having a little too much fun after another busy day of “work”!
And let’s face it. What venue other than the Winter Olympics cooks up such delicious feasts as skeleton, first cousin of the luge depending on whether you want to defy gravity head first or not.
Until this year we scarcely raised an eyebrow toward the luge which could possibly be considered one of the most available targets for the satire of late night television, but it was no laughing matter when Whistler Sliding Centre dealt the fatal blow that caused everyone to sit up and pay attention to one of the most underestimated sports of all times. I mean really…if we’re going to underestimate a sport there’s always curling.
Interestingly enough, Heritage Elementary 5th grader Cortland Niccum got a firsthand account of the track at Whistler when he watched his uncle Christian place sixth in the double luge with partner Dan Joye. Having crashed there shortly before Torino, Christian Niccum was one who was all too familiar with this ominous ride down Blackcomb Mountain.
Now athletes like Apolo Ohno don’t need any mountains. They just pick the indoor short track and such. After his third Olympic run, this devastatingly handsome heartthrob is still in the prime of his youth as he ages beneath his signature soul patch. I’d say it’s pretty convenient for Ohno that the number one sports brand is up for grabs as Tiger Woods spends a little more time in the rice-cooker with Buddha going for his own soul patch. I suspect Donny Deutsch will be working double-overtime to bottle up some Apolo aromatherapy of his own. I can already see him talking about a product called something like Hombre on the Today show. “Do you smell that?….Money!!!”
So whether the true prince of the 2010 Winter Olympics is Evan Lysacek or Bode Miller, who other than Lindsey Vonn would be a more perfect “shoe-in” for the princess? Whether she made it down the mountain in record timing or crashed in true drama queen fashion, this girl is a limping hybrid of When Harry Met Sally and Herbal Essence. I think I overheard Julie Mancuso say, “I’ll have what she’s having.” We could have pieced together a short film on her Olympic experience starring Nancy Kerrigan as Lindsey Vonn, Tonya Harding as her bruised right shin, and Jeff Gillooly as Grouse Mountain.
So the Vonncouver games have left me hanging; no longer will I spend my evenings fighting sleep in an attempt to find out who won the gold. I can catch up on my beauty rest as the real cold war ensues when I try to squeeze in a chick flick or two before the Madness of March creates a stronghold over our flat screens. Word to the wise: I’ve found that any chick flick including royalty can easily be disguised as Star Wars Episode 7. It is certainly not unfathomable that Princess Mia of The Princess Diaries reigns over the far-away galaxy of Genovia. Don’t get greedy though, girls. I really pushed my luck when I tried to pass off Maid in Manhattan as Star Wars Episode 8. I got sloppy. Every seven year old knows that no maid can be a real princess without a crown! Oh well, live and learn. Nevertheless, I freely admit that after my fill of chick flicks, I’ll be the first one in my household to be suckered into March Madness with a passion! So farewell Winter, hello Spring. The good things tomorrow has for my eyes to see are waiting just around the corner.
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