"pink slime" or ground chuck?

[Common Sense Al]

COMMISSIONER STAPLES’ STATEMENT ON LEAN FINELY TEXTURED BEEF

Here's what I support:

Go ahead and sell your "pink slime"... as long as it is clearly labeled so the consumer can choose. I am a big fan of consumer choice and label regulations that allow the consumer to make an informed choice. I guess you could say I am "pro-choice" in this matter.

Didn't this stuff use to be used in pet food? Is it not used in that anymore? If so, why not? If not, why not sell it for pet food? Is it not good enough for pets? Some pets eat better than their owners.

[Uther]

OK, that *is* funny.

Translation: Until we were caught out, we managed to dupe many of you hardworking, honest Americans into eating cast-off beef by-products by dressing it up and mixing it in with other beef. Since it's from a cow, we're comfortable in calling it 100% beef, just not in calling it "meat," which is what you thought you were buying when you bought ground beef.

However, now many of our political sponsors are suffering financial hardship and are threatening to reduce, or in some cases - &deity forbid, even terminate - their contributions to our political campaigns. And we can't have that in a year when we need to kick that Nigerian-born Muslim out of the White House. So, we are making another appeal to your patriotism. Please return to your prior habit of buying and eating "beef," even if it is not, strictly speaking, "meat" that you will be consuming. It hasn't hurt you in the past 20 years (despite rising obesity rates), so why should you stop now?

[Hog Caller]

Uther, I think you have made that as clear as it. can possibly be made.

[Common Sense Al]

Uther, I think you have made that as clear as it. can possibly be made.

Yes, I have to agree... that was a good translation. Congrats Uther!