What do the year 1967, Los Angeles, and the Green Bay Packers all have in common? Simple. Larry Jacobson. He attended Superbowl I, then known as the Supergame. Nicknamed “the can’t-miss kid” by The Los Angeles Times reporter Jerry Crowe, Larry and three others have never missed a Superbowl game. Now, The Never Miss a Superbowl Club has jet lag and we’ve all got a Superbowl XLV Hangovers here in North Texas. We’ve returned to routine, and perhaps even the lost art of dinner time conversation, the best venue on God’s green Earth for imparting or receiving life’s most valuable lessons.
The most memorable lesson of our dinner table conversation this month was “only God knows everything.” I can’t quite remember what brought that on, but I remember the outcome being my son’s arrival at the analogy: “That’s right Dad, no one knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.” I hadn’t thought of that commercial in years and was surprised my son knew about that little owl. I wondered if he knew Mr. Peanut, too. Again, a tribute to good advertising’s lasting impression, though I can remember but one of the Superbowl XXIV commercials since there was chocolate involved and I’m approaching 40!
Here’s some valuable free advice for those living with a 40+ female: for optimal results, every dip in estrogen should be counteracted by a spike in chocolate levels. Those Mars executives know EXACTLY what they’re doing when they prey upon women’s weaknesses in the same way Budweiser and Go Daddy prey upon our men! In the 40’s, “hot” no longer means what it used to. You think you’re Danica Patrick, but look in the mirror and see something more like Roseanne Barr. Heatwave takes on a new meaning.
The Superbowl XLV spotlight created a grandiose heatwave of it’s own with a Texas-sized business empire for a mere game of football set before a worldwide audience. If you live in North Texas, congratulations, you have survived that which was Superbowl XLV. We did it in true North Texas style, even calling forth from Heaven a blanket of snow during Superbowl week to welcome the Packers and Steelers to our city!! The way Robbie Douglas and team have moved the bar of interactive advertising, event planning, and just plain ‘ol Texan hospitality by launching an Emerging Business model has accomplished for the NFL what Beijing accomplished for the Olympics.
Because America is the land where anything is possible, we love promoting undiscovered talent and underdogs. We also love to witness little guys like real estate agent Jim McCullar take home the Mega Millions lottery in the midst of vows that the generations behind him will never have to worry, despite the realm of statistics that favor the probability of future demise. We still pull for folks like Ted Williams and his golden voice when we relish in reunions like the public one he had with his mother.
Meanwhile, as Texas conservatives say “I told you so” to the notion of global warming and build their stick snow men, many parts of the nation have spent more than their unfair share of winter days iced-in with up to 10 inches of fresh snow daily. Oblivious, Lebron James is down in Miami dropping a lime in his coconut and trying to remember “Where is Cleveland?”
The TCU Horned Frogs are home and gearing up for spring after whooping up on Big Ten’s Wisconsin in last month’s Rose Bowl. They (or some anonymous TCU fans) certainly need to rest after the devilish scheme they concocted when they mocked Ohio St. football coach Gordon Gee following his November 2010 jab at small schools who play in major bowl games when he said, “We do not play the Little Sisters of the Poor. We play very fine schools on any given day.” Funny how those so called Little Sisters of the Poor got around to quickly purchasing all of those billboards in Columbus, OH. You know, the ones that say, “Congratulations to TCU for their Rose Bowl victory.” Signed: Little Sisters of the Poor……
Preparing for the Sugar Bowl against Arkansas, Gee made an effort to publicly repair his image when he told Pete Thamel of The New York Times, “I’m going to New Orleans tomorrow, and Antoine’s is a great restaurant there,” Gee said. “I think they serve crow, and I’ll be eating my portion of that. T.C.U. played a great game, and they deserved to be recognized for that. Obviously T.C.U. is a great ball team.”
Picturing Gee eating crow, I kept imagining a real angry bird, sort of like Annette Bening’s hair at the Golden Globes. Though she looked stunning, I couldn’t decide if her hair was more like an angry bird or an ugly doll. I asked myself, “What happened???!!!” even more than I do after most every Lady Antebellum song, that is, except when they are singing the national anthem to open for The Texas Rangers.
If you missed Annette’s hair and The Golden Globes, just wait for the 83rd Academy Awards on February 27 when you’ll want to follow True Grit, a remake of the 1969 western movie about a U.S. Marshal and a Texas Ranger, nominated for 10 Academy Awards including Best Picture and Best Costume Design. For best costumes, I might nominate Texan Darron Thomas and The Oregon Ducks in the BCS Championship. They were no ugly ducklings in their new uniforms (for every game this year!) because of their Sugar Daddy relationship with Oregon alums and Nike co-founders Phil Knight and the late Bill Bowerman.
Duck quarterback Thomas could have been a tremendous asset at LSU. If only. The consolation prize for LSU letting Thomas slip through their fingers: the resurgence of an age-old showdown with Texas A & M in the Cotton Bowl at Cowboys Stadium (A.K.A. dress rehearsal for Super Bowl XLV). And although Alice in Wonderland is nominated for multiple Oscars, the real mad hatter is Les Miles, yet he won’t be at The Oscars OR in Michigan. He’ll be down on the bayou for another year in the swamp, belting the tune of “Louisiana Saturday Night”!
But if Les thinks he can sing his way to Hollywood along with 28-year-old Texan Sarah Sellers and many other starstruck hopefuls, he can Dream On. Though many predicted it would go down in flames with the departure of brutally British Simon Cowell, American idol has been, in fact, upgraded by the J. Lo touch alongside her charming rocker sidekick Steven Tyler who rocked out a Tampa stadium himself ten years ago in Super Bowl XXXV.
And….Alert, Guys! Whether you’ve been a two forks/one cheesecake kind of guy for years or whether all your Ex’s live in Texas, Valentine’s Day is here again. Don’t forget what I told you about the inverse relationship between estrogen and chocolate. Those Mars executives might be right about something. You’re definitely not YOU when
you’re hungry. Do yourself AND us gals a favor! Steam a lobster, buy some long stems, rent a movie and for the love of Colin Firth, get us some chocolate!
If you haven’t seen The Social Network, it’s a must see drama about the development of Facebook by Harvard’s young Mark Zuckerberg with the recurring theme we don’t know what it is and we don’t know what it does yet. Like the Tootsie Pop, in spite of all the university studies and urban legends one could decipher about the social media phenomenon, the world may never know how many licks it takes to get to the center, but leave it to the Aggies–they have the most trafficked social network of all universities. By George, those Aggies are probably licking Tootsie Pops everyday to figure out Facebook. God bless ‘em.
So I think the only thing I’ve missed here is about 4 Super Bowls (on TV, of course) and it’s safe to say that being in The Never Miss a Super Bowl Club will never even make it to my Bucket List. But one thing is for certain: Texans do things big! There’s a synergy here in North Texas that creates ripple effects for all of sports and pop culture worldwide. Hats off to our friends in LA and New York! But when it comes to Dallas Arlington and all things Texan, there’s only one thing to say: supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! Texas rocks!
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